How I Survived So Many Miscarriages

January 1, 2021

OK, here we go. This is not an easy subject for me to write about, but I’ve had so many people ask me to do this that I decided I should. I had lots of miscarriages over a five-year span. And no, I never did end up with a rainbow baby of my own and there was never a medical diagnoses which could explain why, because by all accounts medically it should have worked out, so it’s just one of those unknown mysteries of life. Also no, I have no intention of adopting or fostering a child, at least not at this point in time. Who ever knows what the future holds.

Despite the losses and a life without any kids, I have gotten myself to a place of genuinely feeling generally happy with my life. It did take time for me to get here. Of course there are still days I feel sorry for myself and things I still want to change, but these are facets of human nature we all experience from time to time, if we are honest with ourselves. I’m no different than you. Overall, I’m thankful for my life. And the horrible road I travelled during that time in my life made me stronger. It taught me how to pick up the pieces (time after time) and to keep moving forward with everything I still have left.

This blog is intended to be a guide for anyone, really. However, it will be most relevant if you have experienced this heartbreak, either personally or through someone you know. I will be focusing on the mental, emotional, and physical effects that a miscarriage (one or many) can have on a woman. That is the subject I have found underrepresented when I was looking for resources during my own. There are already many resources devoted to the medical side of things (i.e. possible causes/diagnoses, tests to take, solutions to try, etc.) as well as the relationship effects (husband/wife, life partner, etc.), so no - I will not be exploring those types of subjects. Instead, my intention is to help shed light on how to get through this in a way to not only survive, but to thrive. Finally, some good news! Yes, first we must survive, but then we can go on and honestly THRIVE.

My purpose with this blog is two-fold:

1. To fully equip anyone going through this terrible experience with what to expect in the short-term (after the miscarriage is over) and what to expect and how to deal with the long-term after-effects (yes, there are many).

2. To be a resource of information and comfort for anyone trying to help a loved one going through this process or struggling to move on from it.

My goal is to eventually write a self-help book on this matter, so this blog is a way of me introducing that idea.

Yes, miscarriages are AWFUL. And I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I have it all figured out (I don’t) or that I don’t still have days when I break down and cry about it (I do). I will always be real with my shortcomings. But believe me, life does NOT end because of them. And life can be happy and fulfilling with or without kiddos. Honestly, sometimes what we think is the end is simply the beginning to an even more grand adventure.

Sending hugs and love to you all,

Crystal Weber